i hope there is some one out there who can understand me and not judge me for my mistakes. i got pregnant with my first daughter at 15 and had my second daughter at 20 with the same guy. we are still together and still in love but he is a 23 year old truck driver and he's hardly ever around. i am barely going to turn 21 in september. my family has always supported me but sometimes they dont understand the difficulties about being a young mother. i want to work but i cant because my youngest daughter is still a baby.
i hardly go out and dont have many friends and feel depressed staying at home all day. ↓
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| Name: Sara | Date: Aug 11th, 2005 10:05 PM |
Heydi---Maybe you should find some mommy and me classes in your area. Here they have a MOPS class that meets every friday mornings? or something like that? It is Mothers of Pre-schoolers. I did it for a while and it was great. You meet new friends and they go places as groups. Try looking in a recreational catalog or book...and if you don't find something there, look into the local churches. They usually have programs like that for moms?
Good luck! ↑ |
| Name: heather | Date: Aug 12th, 2005 7:55 PM |
| heydi i know exactly what you are feelin i had my first child when i was only 15 and my son at 17 so i know exactly how you feel i stay in the house all day long and just take care of the kids its like i have no life no friends or anything i feel down all the time and i dont work either because if i work i will have to take my kids to day care and that would be my whole check so i just stay at home and watch them i never go anywhere unless its to the store so something like that sometimes i feel like im in prison and i dont have nothing to do but look at the 4 walls in my house my fiance works but he recently got laid off so now times have been really hard and im only 18 so i know exactly what you are going through if you wanna talk to me you can hit me up on yahoo messenger under BRATTY_BRAT_269 thats my user name or you can email me at that adress ok well ill ttyl hope to hear from you soon bye ↑ |
| Name: michelle | Date: Aug 13th, 2005 9:59 AM |
hi heydi i'm like you i had a baby at 13. My family could not help i was on my own and than at 16 i had twins with another partner we are have a new baby in march. I found it hard when i had the little boy at 13 as i was to young to get a job of find help. im 17 now and can't wait to my new baby cames . i,m still in college and sois my partner how is 18 i have a job until the new little one is here.
good luck with you babys ↑ |
| Name: Mom of 3 | Date: Aug 22nd, 2005 11:48 PM |
| Look on the bright side, your kids will be grown by the time you are 40! Take an exercise class, it will boost your mood, You have two little ones who will grow very quickly. As soon as they start school, which will only be in a few years, you can get some continued education, finish HS or start college or go to chef school. You have your whole life ahead of you. ↑ |
| Name: wendy | Date: Aug 24th, 2005 11:18 PM |
Hi Heydi
i had my first son when i was 15 my second at 17 and my 3 at 20.
they are 6,4, and 1 and i am only 21 years old. My son just started
kindergarden and it is so hard i feel dumb, just because all the
parents are so much older we don't have anything in common.. I leftall of my friends because i quit school.I live in a very small town not nothing to do. I am lucky though Travis my finance works all the time he is so loving and tries so hard, but he works nites i am all by myself and i feel like a single mom.. My sister-in-law to be is such of a witch she triesto make me feel so bad.. I hate gfoing to family gatherings.. I wish there were people like you around here so we could be friends seems like we got a lot in common.. ↑ |
| Name: elizabeth | Date: Aug 26th, 2005 2:27 AM |
| First heydi never say that what you did is a mistake because children are a blessing no matter how they get here. What you need to do is find a job and get your sweeties into a daycare, a free daycare. I am your age and I have one and I know exactly where you are coming from. You also need to, since you say yo and the father are still together, sit down talk and let him know how you feel because you did not make the banies alone and he needs to be there for you and those children also. But do not be depressed although its hard to fight, don`t let it get the best of you because your babies need you. ↑ |
| Name: A | Date: Aug 28th, 2005 7:01 PM |
| Name: Chaunta' | Date: Sep 4th, 2005 12:14 AM |
| I am a young mother of three. So I know what you are going through. I am 24 I had my first daughter @ 15 mysecond @ 17 and my third at 20 hell it is rough as hell. Id say put your youngest in daycare and get to work there are alot of programs out here that will help you gain employment and keep ajob so that you can be independent. My three kids all have the same father and we are back together we've been together for over 10 years and its rough I say just keep trying and striving to achieve all the goals you had planned for your life and knoe it ain't gonna get any easier just harder because children get out of your pockets and on your heart. hang in there and stay prayerful!!!!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Jeannette | Date: Sep 7th, 2005 11:06 AM |
| Hello Heydi--Well I can't say that I completely understand, but I know how hard it is to be at home all day doing nothing, but being with your kids. First and foremost let me commend you on taking responsibility for your actions and raising your own children. It is a huge responsibility and the best job in the world with so many rewards. I am 24 I had my first son at 20 and my second in July of this year. I got to finish high school and do a lot of great things. I am still in college, but I stay at home mostly all day right now except for my classes that I take. Hang in there and know that if you set your mind to do something you can do it....just like you set your mind to raise your baby at 15 and you're doing it. God Bless You and Your Babies! If you want to talk you can IM me at robertlovesjeannette99@yahoo.com ↑ |
| Name: Hannah | Date: Sep 7th, 2005 11:05 PM |
| Take your baby to daycare and get a job if thats what you want. ↑ |
| Name: Citrus | Date: Sep 13th, 2005 1:45 PM |
| Part time work and children in daycare seems to be a good choice if you ask me. ↑ |
| Name: Corinna Chavez | Date: Oct 22nd, 2005 9:59 PM |
| Hello. I am also a young mother of two children. I have a 3 year old who will be 4 in January and I have a year and a half year old that I gave up for adoption. I am 21 and am raising my son on my own. email me if you feel like talking baby_bunnie_kisses@Hotmail.com ↑ |
| Name: christine | Date: Oct 27th, 2005 2:46 PM |
| Hi, I can't imagine how hard it must be to be a single mom; we have four of our own children, ages 8, 7, 4 and 1 1/2... my husband works all the time, too, so I often feel like a single mom in that I have to create childcare for my kids if I want to do something w/out them. I know someone mentioned working from home; I also know how difficult that can be as I run a home based business and try to squeeze it into our schedule. Try this; find someone with children your age (try a local church or your pediatrician's office) and swap days of childcare. My friend and I have 1 hour tickets per child and we swap them back and forth to do stuff as mundane as running to the grocery store or going to school or work. That way we have a method of keeping it fair. You are not by yourself. Motherhood is a all consuming job that lends itself to depression. Try the exericise (work at a gym in the nursery to get a free membership) and bravely look for friends. If you want to vent some more, I'd love to talk some more. ↑ |
| Name: Ruth | Date: Oct 27th, 2005 6:43 PM |
| Don't take this the wrong way, but why are you depressed? Who needs friends when you have two very young learning machines right there next to you?!?! Okay, seriously, have you ever thought about joining a mommy baby club in your area? You might be surprised to find many of them- OR start one up yourself. Nothing big- just meet once a day or every week for a walk around a local park. Mny mom groups even have support, to help you when you're down. Don't ever beat yourself up for being so young- as long as you have learned a lesson. But back to the staying home issue- do you have a mom, or your boyfriend's mother, or even a neighbor, that could watch the baby once a month, say, when your boyfriend is in town, nd the two of you can have some alone time? Even babysitters can be pretty inexpensive to hire just for one night. But at your age, you should have the energy to to overcome your depression. I highly reccommend the mommy baby clubs- check on-line or at your town's lilbrary, or hospitals. ↑ |
| Name: sally | Date: Nov 3rd, 2005 5:26 PM |
hi
i just had my first child at 19. i have always been great with kids, very maternal, now that i have a young 5 week old of my own and am a stay at home mum, i realise it is not that easy. i was watching a doctor phill episode here in australia and he said being a stay at home mother is like working 2 full time jobs. it is hard work. i have no friends that have children, and as i was a very outgoing girl and my friends were exactly the same they can't understand me as much as they used to as i am a mummy now and i have changed my party ways. i suggest like some else already has and that is to try and find some mothers groups. i'm pretty much the same (alone at home) but i seem to find that going shopping and taking your child out is always a mood booster. you meet other ladies in the parent rooms at shopping centres ect when feeding and changing your child. exlore other options.. if you explore and teach your children things then they will learn. My daughter loves shopping. Ive taught her well and very young. Good luck with everything. Just don't be so hard on yourself. Your mind is only telling you your depressed.. enjoy urself. your only young and this is supposed to be the best time of your life. We will grow up with our kids....
All the best...! ↑ |
| Name: Kye | Date: Nov 4th, 2005 6:06 AM |
| You sound like you are doing a great job for someone so young! My mum was 17 when she had me and we are closer than ever; I take my hat off to anyone who hs children young as it is a huge sacrifice at any age! Well done and keep your spirits high as every mother gets down, even me at the age of 28! My partner does shift work so we hardly see one another either as he sleep when I'm usually awake. It can be really hard at times but I try to keep my chin up and do the best I can! Don't be disheartned, you sound like a real trooper! ↑ |
| Name: paula campbell | Date: Nov 17th, 2005 4:57 PM |
| im 6 months pregnant an often feel depressed cos i feel i cant do much an wonder will it be worse or better when shes born im 17 an the babys dad is violent an abusive my baby will be on a child protection register but when i sit there an think i WILL do all i can to make her life happy cos im her mum but cause iv been in care ive always done wot i want an when i want taken drugs drunk but now im pregnant i do feel trapped very much like you but life doesnt have to stop now your young an life does go on!! if you need someone to talk to which i do cos being a young mum scares the hell outta me email me my address is paulac1988@hotmail.com please dont hesitate ↑ |
| Name: Eric | Date: Nov 20th, 2005 12:19 AM |
| Hi' lovely, my advice to you is to work this out with your boyfriend, and if he don't understand that he have to he at home more than he already do (which i can imagine is like 2- 3 days a week), then you need to dump him and ask your mother or someone else to babysit while you go and get a job, then you keep trying til you find one. Once you get a job then, you get a apartment and get up on your feet. After that, you follow that routine til' yo;u are making enough money to get your kids in a daycare. If you need advice hit me back up: Ctlovebryan@aol.com or Ericboo12001@yahoo.com ↑ |
| Name: Tabatha | Date: Nov 20th, 2005 11:23 AM |
| i am 18 and i have a 8 m. old, I fill the same way you do, about being trapped. I wish all the time why couldn't I have waited! Now i cant do anything! ↑ |
| Name: Dawn | Date: Nov 20th, 2005 10:31 PM |
Hi Heidi,
I came across your entry and want to bring you some encouragment and wise advice.
I got pregnant when I was 18 and had four more thereafter. I am now 30 and have four wonderful little ones. I would not ever change the decision I have made or the man that I married, but I would have changed some of the decisons I made during those years. I stayed home with my children and sought out clubs and preschools my whole agenda was to raise these kids and be a good wife to my husband. During this time I found that I lost myself. When you are in your late teens and twenties there is great self discovery that naturally occurs if you deny your need to become an individual it is something that you will regret later.
If you are seriouse about your comitment to your boyfirnd then be supportive and express your need for him to support you in your own self discovery.
Self discovery might just be finding out what field of work would intrest you and begin taking study courses a few at first and when the baby gets older you can take more on. You will not regret finding the truw Heidie and your children will only benefit at the growth in your feelings emotions and life outlook.
You were created to be a wife, mother, and someon that makes a differance in the world.
I also found that in these moms groups there wer other moms that were willing to trade childcare...you watch mine I'll watch yours to bring much needed time for myself.
Whatever you choose know that the lives you are pouring into will richly reward you, but you must remain true to the person God created you to be too. ↑ |
| Name: to heydi | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 11:31 PM |
| Name: Sandra | Date: Nov 25th, 2005 11:39 AM |
Hello Heydi,
I know it seems hard now but things will get better, speak to your partner and tell him how you feel, him not been around is not helping, I am also a young mum im 25 and had my daughter at 17 she's 8 now and im still with my partner of 12 years now saying that I had lots of help and enjoyed my life I even went back to collage, you should try and get out more even a part time job a few hours a week get some of your family to mind the kids you will start getting more depressed of you stay at home all day every day, things can get on top of you. Start going to mum and baby meetings you can meet new friends there having kids at a young age is not the end of the world you just have to start thinking of you for a change. I hope everything works out for you. ↑ |
| Name: Maria | Date: Nov 28th, 2005 9:30 AM |
| how do you feel being a young mom ↑ |
| Name: suzie | Date: Nov 28th, 2005 4:43 PM |
| hi im suzie im 21 a single mum too my little boy ryan i understand how u feel.i have quiet few mates but they all have there own lives so i hardlt see them if u would like 2 chat e mail me suzieallsopp@yahoo.co.uk ↑ |
| Name: MamaH | Date: Nov 28th, 2005 6:29 PM |
| Judging from your other responses to this post, I'd have to say congratulations on not getting pregnant again until now, and by the same guy! How irresponsible are the people who have multiple children...by different people...by the time they're 20?! You are in much better shape than them! I had my son when I was 19 and I just put him into a Jr. Preschool (he's 2) because I too hated staying home. I am going to college, I take night classes right now but since he is in preschool, I am going to classes during the day next semester. If I were you, which I will be when I decide to have another baby, I wouldn't want to put my "Baby" in daycare either. But I do plan on having some kind of babysitting relief at least twice a week so I can get out of the house. It's necessary to stay sane and not feel so bored! ↑ |
| Name: Deb | Date: Nov 29th, 2005 6:33 AM |
Heydi- someday you will look back on this and realize all the postive things that have come out of it. I know it seems hard right now- but trust me- you really aren't missing anything by being '"out there" at the bars.
I didn't get married until I was 33 so I had plenty of time to "club". Its the same people, looking for the same thing. It gets really old. All my friends who got married right after college or high school who didn't have a chance to go clubbing are now getting divorced and attempting to go out clubbing and they are old!!
Its one of those things where you think you need to do it- cause you are missing out on so much fun- but once your there and its 2 am and you start looking around wondering why you even went out.
Be grateful that your boyfriend has a job. And in some ways your blessed that he is not around all the time- otherwise he'd probably be driving you crazy telling you what your doing wrong as a mother or girlfriend- or making a mess that you'd have to clean. At least you're not getting sick of him.
I just went back to work part time and my husband and I don't see eachother until the weekend. We email eachother during the day sometimes- but it really has done wonders for our marriage. He is absolutely dying when I'm gone- and is appreciating me so much more seeing how hard it is to watch the kids. He actually said to me yesterday "You know its easier to be at work then it is to stay home with the kids".
I just laughed and shook my head. I know the grass may seem greener on the otherside but believe me its not. Try to get involved with more moms and playgroups. Somehow spending time with other moms who have the same problems makes it easier to handle. Good luck ↑ |
| Name: stacey | Date: Dec 2nd, 2005 2:41 PM |
| hi im 14 yrs and im 3 months pregnent and my mum is stikkin by me and im keppin it if u r a young mum to be then msg me our add me 2 msn ma addy is xstacey15x@hotmail.com speak 2 ya soon xxxx ↑ |
| Name: danielle | Date: Dec 4th, 2005 12:11 AM |
| I understand, I am 24 and I have a 1 and 2 yr old. My husband is also a truck driver. (not OTR) So to beat the stay at home blues, I decided we should start our own Trucking Company! So we are, it is hard work. But I get to both stay home with my kids and take care of all the paperwork. And you know what it was like all I needed was something "ADULT" to do . I feel much better now!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: biana foullah | Date: Dec 4th, 2005 6:27 PM |
hello,
my advise is only you have to take care about your baby.
and go look for the work.
bianafoullah@yahoo.fr ↑ |
| Name: Lissa | Date: Dec 4th, 2005 7:12 PM |
Hi Heydi,
It must be hard for you particularly if you have people around you judging you for something that happened 6 years ago. I work with a girl in your situation except her first (at 15) was from a different father from her second (who is now 8 months). Her Mom takes care of the baby so she can work. I know it is hard when you look at the cost of childcare verses how much you can make working.
Have you thought about part-time work and part-time child care? That might give you an opportunity to get out of the house. Also, you could try enrolling in some Mother and Baby classes (like at the pool) where you will meet other new mothers. You could also look into the homeschool network where you can find other Mom's who are homeschooling their kids.
It's hard when your partner is away a lot. My husband is in the Navy, so believe me I understand that one! It's like you have to be a single Mom while they are gone, then do an instant switch when they are back. It's tough on you and the kids. Is there any chance your boyfriend would consider a change in career?
I do hope things work out for you. We're all on here, so if nothing else, you can check and post to the forums each day and get some vague contact that way!
Take care,
Lissa ↑ |
| Name: maxine | Date: Dec 5th, 2005 10:49 PM |
| it seems really hard. i am not asyoung as u r but my husband isatrucker. if u can get someone to watch the kids 4a week go on a trip with your man. ↑ |
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