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My family and I recently moved to another part of town, and my daughter was forced to change schools. My daughter has been in a wheelchair for two years now after she lost her legs due to bone cancer. The kids have been making fun of her constantly and I just don't know what to do! Any suggestions? ↓
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| Name: Shocked | Date: Jun 15th, 2005 4:48 PM |
| That's horrible!!! Have you talked to the staff at her school about this? It doesn't seem to me that this type of behaviour should be acceptable. I would seriously consider taking the matter to the school and encouraging some acceptance education among its students! Spending your life in a wheelchair, being physically disabled and the seriousness of cancer are just a few of the topics they could cover!!! ↑ |
| Name: melanie | Date: Jun 15th, 2005 10:59 PM |
| well melissa, depending on her age, all you can really do is support her and explain to your best knowlegde that those kids are ignoate to people who are different. and keep encouraging her to keep her chin up. i do know how you feel i have a son who is severly handicapped and it is very difficult. but one thing i can say is that it makes a stronger persaon of you and your child. feel free to e mail me if you woyuld like to just talk, sometimes it helps to just talk to someone.. melanie_stevens4@yahoo.com ↑ |
| Name: kelly | Date: Jun 23rd, 2005 12:59 AM |
| well your situation is really hard and there is alot you can do about it. maybe by putting he into a skool of her choice. the only thing you can do is be there for her because at the end of the day her good frends and family will stay. and her lfe will get better ↑ |
| Name: kris | Date: Jul 23rd, 2005 1:13 AM |
I went through adolescence alone and hurting, isolated and bereft. Your daughter must be feeling the same.
Those children who are making fun of her should burn in hell as far as I am concerned. They are scum. Really.
The best thing you can do is just be there for her and make sure she has outside activities where she can interact with others besides her wretched classmates.
Demand that the principal put a stop to it. What is happening to her is a form of abuse and should not be tolerated.
God bless you and your daughter ↑ |
| Name: craig | Date: Aug 18th, 2005 4:15 PM |
i am an adult whose life has been deeply damaged by the abuse from my father and from other children. i was picked on, ganged up on and humiliated by my so called friends. if you love your daughter, shop around for a really great school and get her away from the one she is in. the emotional scars that she is reciveing now will not heal. the other children can't be changed and if you don't get her into a better environment she could end up going thru life like i did, in fear and contempt of others. she needs a happy environment where she can hopefully learn to trust others and experience mutual respect.
whatever it costs do it for her. ↑ |
| Name: heather | Date: Aug 23rd, 2005 12:36 PM |
| ok, you say that your daughter lost her legs but did you ever see if they could at least give her some confidence and give her fake ones? that way no one would know. i mean, i know you probably think its a stupid idea because she cant walk now but it would help her a little with the teasing and things she needs to deal with. and not only that, but your right, kids these days are somewhat mean but thats just a part of life, but they would make fun of her if she had a funny haircut, or something little and stupid. these kids only make fun of her for her legs because thats the only thing they know really bothers her. kids will say things to hurt other kids feelings to make them look better. just be there for her and tell her comforting words. no one can change whats already been done, and im taking it your daughter isnt a teenager yet, probably a pre-teen? but they will mature and treat her like she is normal, because they will come to realize that shes not different then any of them. good luck and best wishes. ↑ |
| Name: ninalitta | Date: Sep 3rd, 2005 12:57 AM |
Contact the school before she goes in. Tell them of your concerns,...talk to the teachers. It sounds like the kids need to be educated on your daughters situation. They need to see who she is. The Terry Fox Run is a great forum for this. It happens every September 2nd week. Look up Terry Fox on the web.
Other kids need direction when they feel uncomfortable, they need leadership and education, and empathy ↑ |
| Name: chrisitne | Date: Nov 4th, 2005 8:31 PM |
| hi, my daughers would love to have a pen pal, and I lost a friend as a child to bone cancer. if your daugher would like to have a couple of girls to email, our address is yourpamperedchefconsultant@yahoo.com. My daughers are very sensitive to everyone, and I'm sure both parties would enjoy the interaction. ↑ |
| Name: tasha | Date: Nov 6th, 2005 12:25 AM |
| Name: megan | Date: Nov 15th, 2005 4:53 PM |
| Name: megan | Date: Nov 28th, 2005 10:49 PM |
| i think that you should tell ur daughter to have faith in her self whe n she goes to heaven she won't have to go througha ll that stuff ↑ |
| Name: thlia | Date: Dec 28th, 2005 6:30 PM |
| some times poeple are so lonley they feel lik ↑ |
| Name: jasmine | Date: Jan 1st, 2006 2:18 PM |
| me and everybody can be friends if they are going to be nice ↑ |
| Name: Sierra | Date: Jan 20th, 2006 9:44 AM |
| Name: jj | Date: Feb 1st, 2006 9:19 PM |
| Name: Stephanie | Date: Feb 2nd, 2006 6:22 PM |
As a teacher I believe that a little education of the "other kids" can go a long way to help this situation.
I hope that the kids who are doing the taunting are disciplined by the staff as their behavior is highly inappropriate and disrespectful to anyone, regardless of the situation.
I had a girl in my high school biology class who was in a wheelchair. She was not teased by other students but was also not really included in any social activities, etc.
One of the projects that we did in my class was a "Genetic Symposium" where students individually reasearched and presented a specific genetic anomally to the class and how it affected all aspects of a person's life. At first I was worried about how sensitive my students would be to some of these conditions, but I was really surprised at their sensitivity and respect. It turns out that my student in the wheelchair has spina bifida and had been unable to walk since she was 8 years old, has had a ton of surgeries and faces mor e in the future. She asked me if she could do her project on Spina Bifida and I asked her if she would be comfortable doing so since it is very personal to her. She said that she really wanted to do it and she would be able to relate a a lot of her personal stories to the class. Again, I was skeptical and nervous about the class's reaction, but again I was proud of my students. Every student in the room, even the loud obnoxious types, were on the edge of their seats listening with undivided attention to her story. She brought photos of her as a little girl in leg braces and the students had a ton of questions for her that she was happy to answer. Her presentation allowed the students to ask all of the questions that they ever had for her in a safe and open environment. It allowed the girl to be open and answer questions in a safe environment and the students sure had a different perspective. To date I consider it to be one of the most successful educational moments in my career.
Of course it took tremendous courage for her to stand up in front of her peers to do this, but the rewards really paid off. From that day on she had new friends in and out of class, never had to fumble with door handles or have problems accessing areas of the classroom in her wheelchair.
It is true that kids can be cruel, but their cruelty is often a result of ignorance and lack of knowledge. I'd hate to see your daughter have to go through the inconvenience of switching schools just because of some mean kids. After all it's not her fault, why should she have to leave? I hope you will meet with her teachers and try to work something out that will be positive for everyone. Good luck! ↑ |
| Name: Aaron | Date: Feb 9th, 2006 6:55 AM |
| Im 13 and Kids can be right Mugs !, I was bullied in yr 5 ( Im English ) and i Slapped one of them, Anyway.............. Their a girl in my yr prais shes disabled and im good mates with her shes in my french and english class and we used to sit next to eachother but not no more but we still say hi. And shes a great person and if people can't see that their blind. Tell your daughter to aim for the stars nothing can stop you once your determine and have a pure heart. ↑ |
| Name: Eileen | Date: Feb 10th, 2006 1:53 PM |
| I feel for your daughter and you life is so difficult enough never mide people are alway finding the negative things about people they judge first by appreance and if we are not considble normal other people can't deal with it. When I was in high school thier was a boy in a wheel chair he was in all my class. I would try to help him open the door for him thinkin i was being a nice person but instead he tryed to run me and my friend over I guess at the time I misunderstood him He did't like being treat like a handicup. Well for awhile I was kind of scared of him but my seat got change to right next to him. And i really got to know him. We turned out to be best friends my boyfriend now husband we use to pick him up and hang out with every weekend also with a bunch of other friends. It's just so sad that people have to hurt someone just because they look different on the outside and we are all the same on the inside. I tell my kids to treat everybody with kindness because no one in the world is perfect. What I think those kid's need is to understand her feelings and understant what if it was them. It all fall's on the parents to teach kids how to treat other's and if a parent dose not do there job the world will alway's be cruel. ↑ |
| Name: NICOLE | Date: Feb 11th, 2006 7:56 AM |
| Name: belle | Date: Feb 15th, 2006 5:54 AM |
| Name: DOMINIC | Date: Feb 15th, 2006 4:06 PM |
| Name: Chelsea | Date: Feb 15th, 2006 9:48 PM |
| Tell your daughter that she is special in every single way and that the other children are not used to this type of kid. Maybe if she explains the situation to poeple that will understand and she can make tons of friends. I don't know. it's worth a try. ↑ |
| Name: Victoria | Date: Feb 17th, 2006 9:15 PM |
| Name: Louise 123 | Date: Mar 8th, 2006 4:05 PM |
| Name: sweetie | Date: Mar 8th, 2006 7:23 PM |
thats really sad about the situation your daughter is in! i am 18 and im still in high school, i have a brother with disabilities, and i know exactly WHY kids make fun of people like your daughter...
kids in highschool do not understand certain things like disabilities, so being around people that have them can make them feel really awquard, out of place, and even uncomfortable! (sorry for any mis-spellings! after all, im "just in highschool")
to deal with these feelings of confusin and discomfort, the kids to the next best thing to make them feel better- they laugh. yes, it is cruel, but the teens simply do not know what else to do. i have seen many kids make fun of disabled children, and me being somewhat popular, ask them why they did it. they usually say they dont know and that the disabled ones just make them feel weird and they just laugh about it.
my suggestion is to give your daughter an extra special treat- take her to get her face made-up, her nails done, and maybe buy her a cute outfit from abercrombie, hollister or american eagle (yes, these are "preppy" stores, but these clothslines are concidered "really cool", so the other kids at school will have something to respect about your daughter... shallow, yes, but the name brand says it all!)
also, throw your daughter a sleep over. she may not like the idea at first, but have her invite 4 or 5 of the girls she looks up to, or maybe even make the most fun of her. if you want, you can go with her. durring the sleep over, u can have make overs, vegi snacks, and bring the latest cosmo, seventeen, and glamour magazines along too! try and have your daughter talk about her feelings and exactly WHAT happened to cause her disability. once the girls see your daughter as a person, they will start feeling more comfortable around her and start TREATING her as a person!
i really hope ive helped, and good luck! ↑ |
| Name: Jenny | Date: Mar 24th, 2006 3:56 PM |
| You should tell the staff of the school so that they can make sure she doesn't get bullied. ↑ |
| Name: sara | Date: Mar 29th, 2006 11:46 AM |
| im 13 and i lost my arm to bone cancer age 10 ↑ |
| Name: jenny | Date: Mar 29th, 2006 12:00 PM |
| I'm so sorry sara, are you still sick? ↑ |
| Name: Jesse | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 7:19 AM |
Hi,
I agree - kids can be cruel. I was also the outsider in the class (both in my primary school and highschool), because I was overweight and a straight-A student. I know that my two reasons cannot be compared with your daughter's disability, but, nevertheless, my situation was pretty bad. I didn't have one single friend at school during that time! Even the teachers made rude remarks about my weight!
Because my mum was a teacher at the school I went to, she couldn't do anything about it - it would only make my situation worse. Therefore I learnt to deal with violence of the kids pretty soon. And I found out that what they say is true: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Those things at school made me strong. And all my sufferring was rewarded at the end, too. When I came to college, nobody cared about the way I looked and I made a lot of great friends! Today I'm 23, just finishing my college as one of the top students in my year (and as for all the kids that were giving me a hard time back then - not even one of them finished school or college and most of them ended up in the drug-scene).
So, tell your daughter not to listen to those terrible kids and to always be proud of who she is! It's difficult to ignore rude remarks from others, I know, but it's the only way and it works! Also, be there for her. Talk to her a lot. The worst thing for her is to bottle up all her emotions (anger, disappointment, saddness) - this makes things worse.
If you do have the chance to change schools, though, DO IT! DO IT NOW! Don't try to solve the situation on the school she is in now - send her to a new one! ↑ |
| Name: chanel | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 6:24 AM |
| well how does she feel about it does she fancy moving schools!If it woz me i'd satnd up to themxbut ask her if she wants to move schools ↑ |
| Name: charleen | Date: May 8th, 2006 6:31 PM |
| if i were ber i would just try to ignore it or i would chang schools or move somewhere else , kids r really cruel ↑ |
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