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What to do? My kids hate my boyfriend of 3 years. He and his kids live with me, and my kids go one week with me and one with their dad. Their dad is a sedentary couch potato and my boyfriend is an ex-marine badass who wants the house shipshape. He and my older daughter (21) had a huge blow up and she won't come over anymore, and now my 15 year old son is threatening to stay only with his dad if I don't tell my boyfriend to move out. I don't want to lose another kid, but I love the guy, even though, I have to agree, he is an unreasonable jerk sometimes. Any ideas? ↓
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| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jun 14th, 2006 8:29 PM |
| No disrespect here but you should NEVER EVER pick your boyfriend over your kids!!!!!!! It's BAD JUDGEMENT on your part if you do. Men will come and go from your life but your kids are there always.You should stick by them NOT your boyfriend!!! You still have at least 1 child under 18 and that should be your FIRST CONCERN not second to your boyfriend and I'm sure that's how your children feel about the situation too.Once your kids are grown and out of the house then by all means enjoy any boyfriend you wish but until then choose your kids as they should be who's most important NOT a boyfriend. ↑ |
| Name: Nadine | Date: Jun 17th, 2006 11:41 PM |
| Who's house is it ? There is nothing wrong with a house being in good order, but he should not be running the show with your children! You say only three years in that relationship? Well then he should not try to conform your children because he has not been there to raise them, so therefor keep your children and ↑ |
| Name: mommyagain | Date: Jun 19th, 2006 4:39 PM |
| I agree with Nadine. You are the adult in your house. No you shouldnt chose sides but your kids have to understand it is NOT their right to chose your relationship. I also agree that he may need to back off the kids a bit... they are to old for him to try and play dad now. He needs to be an adult that they respect but yet still just a figure not a dicipliner. Just my opinion. ↑ |
| Name: jeff | Date: Jun 20th, 2006 7:09 AM |
| Tell your boyfriend to buy a puppy for your kids and trust there will be peace in between them. mattypuppies@yahoo.com ↑ |
| Name: jade | Date: Jun 25th, 2006 9:27 PM |
| i would figure out what the problems are before u do anything,if he is just grounding them over everything i would throw him out.i have been there my mom always put her boyfriends over me and my sister her last boyfriend was the biggest jerk ever i ended up running away.listen to your kids first they were there first good luck. ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Jun 26th, 2006 2:03 AM |
| I think you are asking the wrong people. Your children have already answered your question. The thing is, if you decide you dont mind him being an unreasonable jerk with you, then thats your life. But who decides if he is an unreasonable jerk to the kids. And is it ok for him to be an unreasonable jerk to the kids because you love him. I do hope you find it within yourself to do the right thing. I know it is hard. Good luck to you and your children. ↑ |
| Name: bladerunnerx16 | Date: Jul 11th, 2006 3:20 PM |
| Dump the unreasonable jerk and regain your children. ↑ |
| Name: lily | Date: Jul 15th, 2006 8:34 AM |
| Name: ms.chigger | Date: Jul 19th, 2006 3:17 AM |
| Anybody so callous about "losing another kid" to an "unreasonable jerk" may deserve to -- awful as that sounds... ↑ |
| Name: laurevere | Date: Jul 28th, 2006 8:59 PM |
| My sister was in the same situation as yourself some years ago. Her boyfriend was also in the military. His demeanor was haunting and he intentionally pushed everyone away from him, so that included her and her children. He achieved what he wanted and that was to have her under his control. Her children are all grown up and 'WILL NOT" sit in the same room with her because of what she allowed him to do. He convince her that her son "raised up" at him, he was only 11yrs old, the time a male child need a positive role model. My nephew called me, I went and got him, he is now 24 yrs old, college grad and is nothing but "muscles". My sister's "badass" military boyfriend left her for her best friend, 2yrs ago and now she is reaching out to the family she disrespected for him with"NO RESPONSE!" I do not feel sorry for her nor do her children. I told her. ''HE IS A VISITIOR, YOUR FAMILY IS FOREVER!! Donot let him isolate you from your children. Your children ''ALWAYS COMES FIRST! ↑ |
| Name: MichelleM-W | Date: Jul 30th, 2006 2:24 PM |
| I had the same problem with my moms boyfriend at that age, I am now 27 and only want the best for my mom. If you love him then why should you be unhappy. If you 15 year old has a problem then you should all sit down and talk about the differences and come to a conclusion. If hes a good man then he wont make you choose, he knows your children come first. ↑ |
| Name: db | Date: Jul 30th, 2006 7:33 PM |
| i hate my friend he is a real jerk out of all of them ↑ |
| Name: to lizardo2 | Date: Aug 18th, 2006 6:36 PM |
| keep the kids grt rid of the boy friend, tell your friend your kids did not join the marine's an d they will always come first ↑ |
| Name: kingjames | Date: Aug 19th, 2006 7:39 AM |
| Name: sam | Date: Aug 31st, 2006 9:50 AM |
| dump him if your kids arnt happy you wont be happy ↑ |
| Name: leftcoastmom | Date: Sep 1st, 2006 5:22 PM |
| Well, I feel really bad for your kids. You should be married if you are going to co-habitate in the first place. I understand about keeping things in order though. Structure and order is a good thing. You also need to think about how this relationship with the boyfriend is hurting your kids. He can come and go, but your kids are your kids, and their needs come first over the live in. After all, you are shacking up together. ↑ |
| Name: wahm_of_2 | Date: Sep 4th, 2006 7:05 PM |
| Kids are a good judge of character, and your children are MORE IMPORTANT than some guy...love or not!!! ↑ |
| Name: angel | Date: Sep 6th, 2006 1:04 AM |
| Name: julie | Date: Sep 16th, 2006 4:00 PM |
| Name: crazed | Date: Sep 17th, 2006 7:42 PM |
| Name: Allana from Grantham | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 1:50 PM |
| I think you should dump him because he is basicaly turning your kids away from you.You desere better.It will be better for your children and your children are you priority.Get someone new and see if its anything better.good luck!!! ↑ |
| Name: Denise | Date: Sep 22nd, 2006 1:06 PM |
| Name: Dense | Date: Sep 22nd, 2006 1:07 PM |
| Name: joss | Date: Sep 22nd, 2006 4:27 PM |
| Name: Jessica | Date: Sep 23rd, 2006 10:01 PM |
| I don't want to sound mean. But my stepdad is a total jerk. WE FIGHT ALL THE TIME. My moma use to care and now she just sides with him all the time. I got put on anxiety medacine because i'm so stressed out. I just turned 18 and i'm moving out in a week, i plan on staying away for a very long time!!!! Don't let that happen to you and your kid you have left. I wished so bad that my moma was on my side ↑ |
| Name: kareena | Date: Sep 26th, 2006 2:24 AM |
| vgftdtfgvbtdx vrtg jrdseftu kWAshadygwaerty ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Sep 26th, 2006 11:57 AM |
| She's (Lizard02) never come back! ↑ |
| Name: Juunon | Date: Sep 27th, 2006 12:59 AM |
| You must sit down with him meaning ur boyfriend and explain to him your situation and how much it hurts. i may be a problem since in the being that they may have not beeen involve . however you need to spend alone time with your kids and learn what is on your mind and thiers as well. speak to him about what if it were him in the situation. Try to stand up for your kids not in an aruging fashion but one on one. Speak to them as one and let your son express his feelings to him. ↑ |
| Name: Carmen | Date: Oct 2nd, 2006 6:26 PM |
| Who IS THE Most IMPORTANT ur kids or just another guy there is a lot of fishes in the pond but u dont have nemore kids ↑ |
| Name: dasboot | Date: Oct 14th, 2006 12:58 AM |
| no disrispect, but a child is more important than a boyfriend. ALWAYS. ↑ |
| Name: Michelle | Date: Oct 15th, 2006 2:53 AM |
| My mother chose her boyfriend over my older sister and now they barely talk. She chose him over me and I have no intention of having any contact with her. A surefire way to screw up your kids is to choose a boyfriend over them. Just speaking from experiance. This is what years of therapy has done for me. ↑ |
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